


Thirty-Five

by notjustmom



Series: The Boys in Sussex [36]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, F/M, M/M, Sherlock Holmes's Retirement, Sussex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-07-11 03:17:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15963560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom





	1. Chapter 1

February 10 201-

 

Em-

Ever since they returned from Paris, the boys have each reached a place of quiet certainty about the other and this place. John will take long walks with Gertrude, while Sherlock works through the bee books at the kitchen table. Hours apart only seem to make the bond they share stronger. John will walk through the kitchen door and catch Sherlock's eye - the look they share, it is remarkable, Em. I'm finally seeing what is possible - and for my son to have something so shatterproof after all this time of not knowing where he belonged, what and who he was - it sends shivers through me, to be a witness to their love - I finally know, Em, why - why I am, why we were the way we were. So I could finally see - see them, learn from them...

 

Sherlock looked up from his laptop as John undressed and slipped into bed next to him. "Good walk?" He closed his laptop and placed it on the bedside table, then took John into his arms, settling him against his chest.

"Hmm. The sky was so clear tonight - it's so strange." He stopped and spread his fingers over Sherlock's heart and waited to feel his heart beat thrum steadily against them. 

"What is?" Sherlock asked him quietly, after a moment's silence.

"I feel you with me, all the time now, even when you are outside when I'm in the kitchen, or you are in a different room from me, even when I'm a couple miles down the road, walking with Gertrude as I was tonight, it's as if you are right beside me. I hadn't ever felt someone- I didn't know."

"Do you mind?" Sherlock asked him as he picked up John's fingers and pressed them to his lips.

"No, it feels like the most natural thing - to know you are thinking of me, loving me - even when I can't touch you, or see you, I know I am loved. It is a bit shattering, and yet -"

"It's like I walk around full and, yet, lighter than I ever have, John. There is no drug on this planet that can match what your love does to me."

John sat up and looked into Sherlock's eyes and nodded. "That's it, exactly - god, I'm just so very lucky, love -"

"I know, John." He laid his hands on John's face and drew him into a kiss of such overwhelming sweetness that it nearly brought tears to John's eyes. "I'm not afraid anymore, John - my heart, my love, everything I am, the good, the bad, everything that lies between, is yours now, and it always will be."

John pulled away and rolled onto his side, then reached for Sherlock's hand, and no other words were needed as they spent the next hours slowly relearning one another, taking each other apart bit by bit, until they fell asleep, exhausted, in each other's arms, entwined, as if tethered together as they were always meant to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Greg glanced up as Sherlock walked into the kitchen, then nodded at the teapot in front of him. 

"How's Molly sleeping?" Sherlock asked, as he got a mug from the cabinet.

Greg shook his head and yawned. "Only way she can get comfortable is in the recliner, but Maddie is already a night owl, she's bouncing around like a pinball, and hiccuping of all things if you can believe it." He shrugged and looked into his empty mug. "But, she's happy - she's always wanted kids, just wish -"

Sherlock eased quietly into the chair across from his friend, then poured tea into his mug. "You wish -?"

"Well, she's from a big family, all her sisters have two or three, and I worry, I just wonder -"

Sherlock spooned in the required sugar for his tea and stirred it thoughtfully for a moment. "You worry you two, you, in particular, waited too long, that Maddie won't be enough for her?"

Greg looked up at him and nodded. "I know it's silly to worry about stuff I can't change - I just see how content she is here, and I wish -"

"I used to play 'what if' all the time, in my head. You know - 'what if I had told John sooner how I felt about him?' or 'what if I hadn't gone to the lab that morning?', 'what if I had never done x,y, or z?'" Sherlock got up and sliced two healthy pieces of bread from the loaf on the counter and dropped them into the toaster. 

"I never believed 'things happen for a reason' until I met Z and Gladys." He sat down again, and shrugged. 

"But, now - I have come to realise, if we hadn't, if I hadn't made the choices I made - I wouldn't, we wouldn't be here now, we may have never ended up here - of course, I wish it had been a bit easier on us - could have done without all the drama and the pain I caused John and all of you - but I have to trust in whatever gave me what I have now." 

The toast popped up and he rose from his chair. "The regrets I had - I was afraid I had missed my chance, first when I got home and found John - proposing to - and then - well, you know better than anyone, don't you - even before John." He spread jam on the toast, and placed a plate in front of Greg, then took his seat again. "Since we've been here, I've learned, or tried to learn to accept things the way they turned out - even the hardest bits - I guess, especially the hardest bits - like John nearly dying. If that hadn't happened, we probably would still be at Baker Street - I don't know that I'd have told him how I felt, if I hadn't thought I might lose him, and who knows where we'd be now?" He picked up his toast and took a bite, sighing as he chewed. 

"I don't know, I guess, I've stopped thinking I really have any control over things - all I can do is love the people I love the best I can, and if I do that well enough not much else matters." He stopped and grinned at his friend who was staring at him. "I know - if it sounds unlikely to you - try to imagine what it sounded like in my own head. I know it's a cliche or overly, I don't know, sentimental, I suppose, but when I knew John loved me - everything I had thought was important, became less so - and, I see you and Molly, and Grace - even my brother - I see how being loved and putting my energy into loving people back - what it does. Sorry - I'm babbling. Either I got too much sleep or not enough - or maybe it's because it's almost Valentine's Day - not that it matters much in the scheme of things - didn't use to matter..."

Greg laughed and shook his head. "Sherlock Holmes, you are just an old softie."

Sherlock grinned at him again and shrugged, then grabbed his piece of toast and got up from the table. "On that note, I'm going back to bed. Try not to worry so much, hmmm?"

"Yeah, that's what she says." 

"Listen to her." He shoved the toast in his mouth and left the kitchen, then headed back upstairs to John, who was still sound asleep.

 

Greg walked back into their bedroom and watched Molly flip a page of the novel she was trying to finish before Maddie arrived. She looked up and studied his face for a moment, then smiled at him. "Got things figured out?"

"A bit. I'm just still getting used to taking advice from Sherlock - I still remember -" He shook his head and walked over to her, then kissed her hair, and laid his hands gently on her shoulders. "She settle down for you?"

Molly nodded. "Done hiccuping, think she's asleep - you should try to sleep yourself, won't be too much longer before none of us get much rest around here."

Greg groaned to himself, then laughed as she turned to look at him. "I can't wait." He kissed her and whispered, "do you know how very lucky I am - to be here - to love you?"

She nodded and laid her hand on his strong jaw and felt him lean into her touch. "I know, love, I know. Help me up, and we'll go back to bed, hmm? No more worrying, yeah?"

"No more worrying, promise."


	3. Chapter 3

"Happy Valentine's Day, Ali," Mycroft whispered as he placed her morning tea on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Happy -?" She sat up and raised an eyebrow suspiciously at him. "What did you do?"

"You mean besides make tea and crepes on a Tuesday morning and called in sick for both of us? Besides that?"

"You look like Mycroft Holmes and sound like him -" She leaned into him and kissed him gently, then drew back. "... and you kiss like him..."

"As I believe you once said, an old dog can occasionally learn new tricks." He opened the drawer of the bedside table and presented her with a red velvet box.

"Myc." She bit her lip as she opened it to find a key. "What did you do?"

"There's a farm near Sherlock and John's - a bit older, but still in good shape - I thought we needed a place for us - since I know you love it there -" He watched as she blinked back tears and shook her head at him. "Is it too much - I'm not well-versed in Valentine's Day gift-giving as yet, it's my first one - I looked at it on that day when I went to check on Z and Glady's place when they were in Paris, you were on a call - and I just -"

"No. It's just perfect, love - you - you amazingly lovely man - thank you, Myc. Do you think, since we took the day off today, we could go see it?"

"Car will be here in an hour." He grinned at her and kissed her lightly, then helped her out of bed.

"I love you." She wondered that those three little words still made his eyes light up and his breath catch, as if still becoming accustomed to hearing them in reference to himself and she swore to herself that one day, he would become so certain of her love that it wouldn't startle him into speechlessness.

He cleared his throat and kissed her forehead. "I love you, too, Ali. So very much. It's cold out, so bundle up. And I another surprise for you."

"Myc?"

"Nope. It won't be a surprise if I tell you."

"One hint?"

Mycroft shook his head. "Crepes are getting cold." He gave her that grin that she felt down to her toes and rolled her eyes. He hadn't been one of the agency's best spies for nothing, he definitely knew how to keep a secret. 

"Be there in a minute."

He nodded as he left the room. "And don't bother trying to get it out of Sherlock - he doesn't know anything about it."

Damn. She threw a slipper at him, but he laughed at her as he ducked away from it and disappeared from the room.

"Love you."

"I know."


	4. Chapter 4

Sherlock looked up from his laptop to see Greg holding Maddie, and shook his head, before he got up to take the little girl from her father's arms. "Go on back to bed, it's Valentine's Day, you and Molly should do something -"

"Romantic? Like sleep for more than three hours?" Greg whispered, but the light danced in his eyes, Sherlock knew exactly how Greg felt about the small bundle of person who was quietly staring up at him, as if trying to deduce him.

"Exactly."

"Ta, just -"

"She'll be fine."

"Yeah, I know." Greg grinned at him, then went back to their room.

"So, Miss Maddie Grace, what's going on?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, and Sherlock once again saw both her parents' intelligence in that look, as if Maddie had been around more than just this first time. He blinked at her and she smiled at him before reminding him she was hungry.

"Right. Bottle coming up."

 

"Babysitting?" Phil asked a few hours later when he arrived through the snow to deliver some much needed supplies. 

"Yeah, well, it's Valentine's Day, thought they could use a break, and I don't mind, she's quite interesting." Sherlock grinned at him, and let out a sigh of relief as Phil unloaded the box he had brought, including John's favoured Clover honey. "Brilliant. Stay for breakfast?"

"Sure, if you don't mind?"

"Here." Sherlock got to his feet and eased Maddie into Phil's arms.

"Wait - but - oh. She's rather nice, isn't she?" Phil asked quietly as Maddie made a tiny sound then went back to sleep.

"Yeah, she is." Sherlock whispered, then opened the bread box and began making toast, for the honey and jam that had just arrived.

"John?"

"Working on the book last time I saw him. I think it's nearly finished, but he won't show me."

"Writers..." Phil sighed. "When Grace gets into writing mode, we know to leave her be, unless the house is on fire - luckily that hasn't happened yet - morning, John."

"Mornin' Phil. Ah, the Clover honey, I was worried -"

"I found some stashed away, and I remembered you were nearly out of strawberry jam, so I got a couple of jars for you."

John smiled his thanks, then met Sherlock's eyes. "It's finished."

"Finished, finished?"

"Well, except for editing and adding the photos, the writing bit is done," John answered in a hush as he watched Maddie squirm in Phil's arms as if telling them to keep it down. "Sorry, Miss Maddie."

"Happy Valentine's Day, John." Sherlock whispered.

"Happy Valentine's Day, love."


	5. Chapter 5

Alicia got out of the car and walked over to the front door of a good sized stone cottage, pausing for just a moment to turn back to find Mycroft watching her with a bit of shy smile, then returned her focus to the key in her hand, and wished it would stop shaking. She took a breath, put the key in the lock and turned it, then opened the door to find Gladys sitting in the kitchen with a beautiful yellow lab puppy.

"Gladys?"

"Happy Valentine's Day, Alicia."

"Myc -"

"He didn't have to ask for advice, except for where he could find a reputable place for puppies, and I couldn't help but offer to assist with the surprise." 

Alicia knelt down next to the puppy and sighed as she licked her face. "Ginger. Her name is Ginger."

"Perfect name," Mycroft muttered from the doorway.

She turned and got to her feet slowly, then walked over to him and leaned into him, sighing as he pressed a kiss into her hair and wrapped his arms around her. "Happy Valentine's Day, Ali."

"I love you, Myc. Even without all this - you ridiculously romantic man -"

"It's okay, then?"

She kissed his cheek and rested against him once more. "It's absolutely perfect."

"Yes?"

"Yes."

Gladys got up from the table and cleared her throat. "I made sure the supplies were well stocked, and the cake is in the pantry."

"Victoria Sponge?" Mycroft asked quietly.

"What else would I bake for your first days here, Mycroft Holmes?"

"Thank you, Glady."

"It's my pleasure, Mycroft. Now, there's Phil's horn - I'm off. Happy Valentine's Day you two."

Alicia walked over to her and hugged her carefully. "Thank you, Glady. You have no idea what this all means to me."

"I think I do, my dear." Gladys smiled gently at her, then picked up her purse and coat and walked out the front door, closing it behind her.


	6. Chapter 6

February 14 -

 

Em-

It's been snowing for days, Phil has been out making the rounds, checking in on Bliss - he got to hold Maddie for the first time, and I do believe he is a bit smitten, and he said that John was finally done writing the book. Hopefully Sherlock knows by now to hide his laptop and legal pads from him so he doesn't delete everything again...

There are days, Em, when I still have to pinch myself, because everything is too perfect, and then I take a breath and consider what you would say to me if you were here, you'd probably tell me to get over myself and put my pen down, find Howie, and tell him how much I love him. And you'd be right as always.

I will always miss you, Em, you will always be a part of me, but I think this is the last time I will write to you. Perhaps one day, I will share these little books with - but, no, these were only ever meant for you - Howie's knocking at the door, he's been working on some secret thing for me, I love you, Emily Christine.

 

Grace closed the journal and placed it in the top drawer, then locked it, and pocketed the key, and walked towards the door of her study, then turned back and whispered, "Good-bye, Em," before she opened the door to find Howard standing there, waiting for her, patiently as always.

 

John bit his lip as Sherlock finished reading his manuscript, and glanced up at him and shook his head.

"What? What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all, it's perfect," Sherlock whispered.

"Yeah?"

"It's absolutely, perfect, John." He laid the laptop aside and stood up, then gathered John into his arms and mumbled, "just as perfect as you."

John leaned against him and sighed. "I love you."

"Yeah, I love you, too. Bed?"

"Bed."


End file.
